i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
