I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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