The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
