I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
