what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
