The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just pee around me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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