I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
