And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
