Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize