i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize