ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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