My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
