Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
