So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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