playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
