the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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