Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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