I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
