cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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