i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
