i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
