Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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