Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
