Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
