I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
only if we run a train.
done.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i drank out of a bidet.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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