It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
