Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
