i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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