when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
