idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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