Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
