No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
