my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
