I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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