1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
