I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
