What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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