dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
