For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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