If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
