thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
