She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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