i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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