I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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