Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
