12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
