I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
