They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
