Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
