I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
