Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
two words: eviction party
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
