You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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