Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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