New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
