You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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