he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize