i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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