there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
