you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Pants are for mortals
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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