Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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