How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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